A/N: Here is another poem that I wrote around the same time that I wrote the poem Dreams?, I wrote a bunch of seperate poems in one larger one and decided that they don't all fit together as well as I would have liked so please let me know what you think. Also located on the page A Song of Friends.
Drama is inevitable.
Drama exists
There is no way to escape it grasps
once your in
there is no way out
none
it can be a play
or even a performance
but what if it takes a turn for the worst
life
Growing Silence
4 years ago
This poem has a couple of errors, and seems less disciplined. In line 4, I think you mean to use "you're". In line 9 I believe you want "worse" as that is the phrase. Of course, I may be wrong. This poem also lacks any concrete images, anything conveyed by the physical world we live in, and I can relate to. That is a necessary component to poetry.
ReplyDeleteLike Mr. Johnson said I think a concrete image at the beginning would help. I liked though that it had almost a shady feeling to it. I also thought the last line was interesting.
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